You deserve to be here. How sharing your feelings can bring you back from the brink

Don't be a prisoner of negative thinking. Dr. Mark Goulston offers a solution to breaking free from them.

Opening your emotions to others can increase your oxytocin levels and help you climb out of despair. Photo – Shutterstock
Mark Goulston, M.D.

Just because you can’t compete, just because the world has no time, interest, patience or need for you if you can’t get it more sooner, just because the world has forgotten about and shunned you, just because you feel like a burden is no reason to kill yourself… or are they?

If you’re out of work, if you don’t have the skills to get work, if you don’t have enough money to retire, if you feel scared, lost and hopeless… what can you do?

More significantly, what can you do, when you feel incapable of doing anything?

And why am I writing this? Am I being insensitive and making your life worse and causing you to feel even more hopeless?

Some of you will say, “Yes, that’s exactly what you’re doing!”

And those “some” may be composed of people feeling the above or are people who are succeeding, who have secure jobs that avoid such people and feel I am being insensitive and cruel.

The reason I am writing this is that:

  • You aren’t useless.
  • Your life isn’t pointless.
  • You aren’t a burden.
  • AND you aren’t alone.

Just because the world appears to be saying to you that it doesn’t need or want you, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be on this planet.

Here’s the deal:

Following this article, start sharing your comments about having any of those feelings and then start reaching out to each other and telling each other that you understand and that each of you is worth caring about and do deserve to be on this planet.

What good will that do?

If you’ll pardon the neuroscience, when you’re feeling stressed and distressed by your situation, your cortisol (a hormone secreted by your adrenal glands) goes through the roof to deal with the stress. That cortisol makes it difficult to think, put things in perspective and consider your options. I refer to that as “cortisol blindness and deafness” in that you can’t see or hear anything that breaks through that might give you relief or hope.

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The antidote for elevated cortisol is oxytocin, which is another hormone related to bonding, closeness and feeling less alone. When you express your feelings – fears, anger, disappointments, etc. – and feel others genuinely empathizing, caring and showing compassion towards you, your oxytocin goes up and your cortisol goes down.

And when that happens, you begin to feel less alone and then you feel relief, hope and your ability to think and consider options – including learning skills that you didn’t think you could learn – come back.

So, share what you’re feeling, show empathy and compassion towards each other, and together you will all make it through whatever difficult times you’re going through.

Much love to you all.

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Dr. Mark Goulston is an award-winning business psychiatrist, a consultant for Fortune 500 companies and the best-selling author of seven books. His latest, Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with Irrational and Irresponsible People in your Life can be found on Amazon. Catch up on Dr. Goulston’s previous articles here.

Connect with Dr. Goulston through FacebookTwitter, or LinkedIn. His books are available on Amazon. Check out his videos on YouTube or take advantage of free resources available at www.markgoulston.com.

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